


What Did You Do With My Heart?

by shakespearesocks



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Thomas Sanders - Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dear Happy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oneshot, Singing, Things We Used To Share
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 10:38:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11598903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakespearesocks/pseuds/shakespearesocks
Summary: Patton is the only other side Virgil can tolerate most of the time. Sometimes the sunshine can be a bit much, but the sheer warmth and happiness and genuine affection Patton shows Virgil is enough to thaw his cold moods.He sometimes wonders how Patton can be so happy all the time.





	What Did You Do With My Heart?

Patton is the only other side Virgil can tolerate most of the time. Sometimes the sunshine can be a bit much, but the sheer _warmth_ and happiness and genuine affection Patton shows Virgil is enough to thaw his cold moods.

He sometimes wonders how Patton can be so happy all the time.

Patton is also the only one who stays up as late as Virgil (Roman is intent on his beauty sleep, and Logan insists on keeping a healthy circadian rhythm). So they’ve started hanging out at night. Sometimes they talk. Sometimes when Virgil doesn’t feel like talking they just watch a movie or a show and Patton makes them drinks. Virgil always has just plain tea or coffee, but Patton prefers hot chocolate with around 50 marshmallows.

No matter how bad Virgil is feeling, he finds he can always smile when he sees Patton cocoon himself up in blankets and watching the TV eagerly.

Not that Patton can see that, of course.

They usually hang out in the living room, but after a while Patton invites Virgil to watch movies in his room.

He’d never been in any of the others’ rooms before. He’s almost scared to go in, he’s worried he’ll corrupt the warmth and happiness of the room. But Patton is surprisingly stubborn and persistent, and Virgil finds himself spending most of his time in there with Patton, watching movies or shows or just sitting there and talking.

It’s easier to smile in Patton’s room.

Patton hangs out in Virgil’s room from time to time. Virgil always gets… well, anxious, about that, but Patton is just _so adamant_ , and he ends up coming and going as he pleases, though Virgil is always quick to get him out once he starts getting jittery.

It gets to a point where they’re hanging out every night.

No one says anything, but Logan and Roman start looking for Virgil in Patton’s room and vice versa when they need one of them.

Pick a room, pick a movie. Drinks. Talk. Go to bed at a ridiculously late time. They fall into a routine and things are easy. Patton is just so easy-going and kind and _happy_.

And then one evening he’s not there.

Thomas had been going through some stuff, and Patton had been uncharacteristically quiet. And now he isn’t here.

Negative thoughts spiral and think of reasons why Patton isn’t there. All of them blame Virgil. He pushes them to the side. Goes to find Patton.

Virgil races through the mind palace. Checks the main room. Checks Patton’s room. Checks his room. Even asks Logan and Roman if they’ve seen Patton. They haven’t. Go figure.

He appears outside Thomas’ mind in the living room. Still no Patton.

The thoughts turn from self-deprecating to worrying, imagining the worst. Still blaming Virgil.

"Patton?" Virgil calls out quietly, walking down the hallway. Too quietly - he needs to work on speaking louder. His call goes unheard into the darkened house.

He's about to keep looking when he hears the soft sound of a ukulele coming from inside a room. He peers into the room and sees Patton, illuminated by the gentle fairy lights that Dodie taught them how to hang. He’s holding Thomas’ ukulele, playing it with a hint of uncertainty.

He’s crying.

The sight hits Virgil like a punch to the gut. He’s never seen Patton as anything other than happy before. He’s never _thought_ of Patton as anything other than happy before.

Then Patton starts to sing and Virgil realises.

_You can have the toaster and the PC_

_Or even my Timothy Green DVD_

_I'll let you have the couch and the TV_

_Hang onto the jacket that you bought for me_

 

_I don't really care, you can keep the things we used to share_

_But what did you do with my heart?_

_What did you do with my heart?_

 

_No more fireworks, no more compass_

_You didn't leave a single butterfly in my stomach_

_You took my spyglass, no knowing what lies ahead_

_My warmth at night, but left a dent in my bed_

 

_I don't really care, you can keep the things we used to share_

_But what did you do with my heart?_

_What did you do with my heart?_

_  
_ _You've stripped me of my pride--_

_That’s for the best,_

_But you've also deprived me of a full night's rest_

_So no more dreams_

_Where we pull through_

_And I can't collect my thoughts_

_‘Cause they're still with you_

 

_I don't really care_

_You can keep the things we used to share_

_But what did you do with my heart?_

_What did you do with my heart?_

 

_I wouldn't take it back_

_Even though I feel sore_

_I meant it when I said_

_What's mine is yours_

_But I need to know_

_Now that we're apart_

_What did you do_

_I need to know_

_Now that we're apart_

_What did you do with my heart?_

_What did you do with my heart?_

_What did you do with my heart?_

Virgil wants to cry. Of course. _Of course._ They’d all been upset over the song - even Logan, who still occasionally claimed he wasn't prone to ‘feelings’, but even so wound up sniffling for a long time after the video was posted, and Roman had been sad in his usual open manner.

But they had both bounced back. Called it catharsis, went back to work.

Virgil isn’t the ‘bouncing back’ type, but he's used to his fair share of negative emotions. He's probably going to wallow later.

But Patton? Patton is so optimistic and happy and he always takes these things in his stride. So why is this so hard for him?

_What did you do with my heart?_

Virgil is interrupted by the end of the song. He realises he's been standing in the doorway the whole time. He takes an uncertain step forward.

Patton jumps and drops the ukulele. "Oh. Virgil. Hey there, kiddo. I didn't see you there." He wipes his eyes with his arm. He looks around at where he’s sitting, at himself, as if he’s trying to see how Virgil is seeing it. "I guess this song just got stuck in my head, and it's the only one I can play any well..." He trails off. "I mean, I guess we can _all_ play ukulele - if Thomas can, we can - but I feel like that's always been Roman's area. I've never really gotten any song right." He sniffs. "Ex-except this one. Maybe because Thomas was singing it from the heart, huh?" He laughs softly and puts on a strained smile. "Gosh, how nice was Joan to write this song and teach Thomas how to play ukulele? Joan is amazing! I love Joan!" Patton's voice cracks and the smile becomes more strained. "How 'bout you, kiddo, what's up with you?"

Virgil walks over to Patton and sits down in front of him. “Patton… are you alright?”

“Of course!” Patton’s smile wobbles before failing and his eyes water. "I- No.” He takes a shuddering breath. “You shouldn't have to see me like this. Unhappy. It's silly. I'm silly.”

Alarms ring in Virgil’s head as he thinks _what if I get this wrong?_ But looking at Patton silences the alarms as he remembers Joan’s words.

“No emotion is a stupid emotion, remember?” He says, and Patton nods. “You can talk to me.”

Patton takes a breath. “It hurts. It still hurts. The song just made it so real again. It hurts and I have to keep a smile on my face because I'm the happy one. I can’t be sad because I’m the optimistic one. But Thomas’ heart is hurting and that’s _me._ ”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because… hanging out with you, you were so _happy._ You look so wonderful when you smile. I didn’t want to be the reason you stopped.”

Virgil feels tears welling up. Without entirely knowing he’s doing it, he finds himself leaning forward, and for the first time, he hugs someone.

He worries for a few seconds because Patton remains stiff with his arms at his sides, but after a moment, he’s hugging back, twice as fiercely. They’re both shaking from the crying. A part of Virgil’s mind idly thinks that Patton smells like chocolate chip cookies.

“You can’t be happy all the time, Pat. We’re all hurting because of the song, but you don’t have to pretend to be happy for us.” He pulls away to look Patton in the eyes. “Or for me.”

“I’m sorry I missed watching a movie with you.” Patton mumbles.

Virgil thinks for a second. Then he stands up and holds a hand out to Patton. “Come on.”

Patton looks up at him with wide eyes. “Huh?”

“Take my hand. I could try and pick you up but I’m not very strong so I think that wouldn’t work out for either of us.”

Patton grabs his hand and pulls himself up. Virgil leads him over to the living room and sits him down on the couch. He passes him the mountain of blankets he always has and gently throws him the TV remote. It lands in Patton’s lap, who looks up from it at Virgil curiously.

“Pick something to watch.” Virgil pauses. “ _Not_ Timothy Green.”

“Where are you going?” Patton asks.

“You want a hot chocolate, right?” He smiles. “With your usual 50 marshmallows?”

Patton cracks a small smile. “Just 49 is fine.”

***

When the movie is done (Patton chose Lilo and Stitch), the two stay sitting on the couch for a while, barely illuminated by the screen of the TV. They haven’t said anything since the movie started, just sat silently, perhaps breaking the silence to laugh at a funny line. At some point Patton snuggled up to Virgil, who has now found himself with an arm across Patton’s shoulders and his head on his chest.

He looks at Patton, and thinks about the song.

He thinks about another, slightly older song which he thinks is more fitting.

He clears his throat and takes a deep breath.

_Don’t try to fight it_

_You’re here for tonight_

Patton looks up and smiles softly, and Virgil is happy to hear his voice join in to finish the lines:

_And I’ll be waiting for you_

_Until we meet again._

**Author's Note:**

> it's 2am and i'm procrastinating on 10 major assignments and another moxiety fic with this
> 
>  
> 
> i'm shakespearesocks on tumblr, come and say hi!!


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